Quotes from The Siege of Fallcrest

Encounter 1: Pirates of the Nentir River

Slash: So you guys are all on the boat. You can put yourselves wherever you want to be.
[ laughter as all the girls put their minis at the bow of the ship ]
Josh: You’re all king of the world.

Patrick: 10 Streetwise.
Slash: Muckenfuss recognizes that there are no streets on the boat.

Josh: Can Broknar row?
Sara: Can Broknar jump out the back and start pushing?

Josh: How high is the railing behind the captain?
Patrick: [ chuckles ] I like where you’re going with this.

Slash: They are halfling stouts. They have short swords. That’s about it. They are short people with short swords.
Matt: “That’d be a great beer name. Halfling Stout.”
Sara: “Could you focus on the battle?”

Patrick: Could you turn the music down a little bit?
Slash: What?

Slash: 12 damage on the captain. No, he’s not.
Josh: What?
Slash: Usually you ask if they’re bloodied right away.

Joan: [ tastes her drink and makes a face ]
Matt: Did you put Sprite in that?
Joan: I didn’t know Sprite was involved!
Slash: When you’re done de-liquoring your wife, it’s your turn.
Patrick: You should have thought that through.

Josh: I will Second Wind.
Matt: Wait, I’m behind you.

Matt: [ as a pirate swims unnaturally fast ] What is he, Michael Phelps?!?

Matt: [ as Joan has rolled an OA, Booming Blade bonus damage, and falling damage for an enemy ] Now what can she roll?

Slash: On the pirate ship, there’s a skeleton crew of definitely-not-combat-worthy folks who run off as you board.
Josh: “Jump off before I kill you.”
Robyn: “Tell him where the loot is, first!”
Patrick: I got excited when you said “skeleton” crew.

Josh: [ after the pirate captain is killed ] I yell to the two guys in the water, “I’m your new captain!”

Slash: So the question now is, what do you want to do?
Robyn: Arquera and I want to find the captain of our boat and talk about fees.

Slash: Slooooow compuuuuter….
Matt: It’s only running two monitors, playing an audio file, running an encounter….
Slash: I wouldn’t think calc.exe would be that resource intensive.

Taking the Job

Slash: An imposing dragonborn sits on the back of the wagon with a human cleric who looks a bit hungover. Muckenfuss inexplicably pauses in his conversation with Ventlandra to toss the man a wink.

Slash: “Name?”
Robyn: “Qatana Kane.”
Josh: You’re not going to give him a fake name?
Sara: “Arquera Kane.”
Matt: Kandy Kane.

Slash: “I’m Barstomun.”
Patrick: Of the Plymouth Barstomuns?

Slash: “It’s not often you find a Bonebreaker outside of their own house, let alone Hammerfast! What brings you all the way out here?”
Matt: “Got crowded in the house.”

Slash: “Ah, you’re the Bonebreakers’ pet goliath!”
Josh: I pick him up. “I’d take that back if I were you.”
Slash: “…Aye!”

Robyn: “And I’d be willing to treat everyone if it’s not too much with this extra pearl I have.”
Matt: “Pearl? What pearl?”
Sara: “Uh, we’ve had them? Family heirlooms?”
Slash: Time for another round of Bluff vs. Insight.
Patrick: Muckenfuss shakes his head. “Amateurs.”

Patrick: “Dinner’s on me.”
Matt: “Ew.”

Slash: “If you pointy-eared pansies think you can do something about the crime problem, then you should talk to Lord Warden Fark…Markel…” what is it? Farkelhay? “Markelhay!”
Patrick: Markelfuss.
Sara: “You’ll have to write that name down for us. You do know how to read and write?”
Josh: He’s just doodling on that pad he’s got.
Sara: He’s drawing dirty pictures of Ventlandra.
Slash: I was just about to say that; you beat me to the punch.

Sara: We have a rogue; of course we can get in, it’s whether or not we were invited….

Josh: “We hear you’ve got problems with thieves. We’re here to solve it for a small, large fee.”
Patrick: “A smallish fee.”
Josh: “I like that. A smallish fee. Apiece.”

Slash: “I haven’t heard of any of that. Perhaps you could show me an example of your skill.”
Patrick: I pull up a YouTube clip.

Matt: The rogue’s like, what’s pro bono mean?

Slash: [The letter] says that the Fallcrest treasury will be paying for your lodging.
Robyn: Definitely the Silver Unicorn, then.
Josh: “I hear Jim Darkmagic once stayed there.”

Josh: [ replacing his armor ] “What do you have in large?”
Robyn+Sara: [ coughs ] “Extra large.”
Josh: He hands me Life Font Hide Armor +12.

Robyn: “Fagan told me about this brand back in my home town.” Name drop to see if I get a reaction.
Slash: His eyes sort of narrow at you.
Patrick: Empty your pockets, please.

Slash: “And where did you come by these [pearls]?”
Robyn: “Lord Fastormel’s tower, actually.”
Sara: “Family! Heirlooms!” She said it quietly, just to [Orest].
Slash: Dolg can make a perception check to try to hear her.
Matt: Don’t mess with a perceptive dwarf. [ rolls ] That’s a 30.

Sara: My bluff is 1; I can’t lie to you!

Slash: “All right, c’mere.”
Patrick: Gimme a hug!

Slash: “It’s 160 gold pieces.”
Patrick: Will you take two pearls? They’re family heirlooms!

Matt: 27 Insight.
Slash: You feel he’s being truthful.
Matt: I blew a crit on the truth?

Encounter 2: The Market Green

Slash: And we’ll roll for initiative.
Patrick: [ rolls ] Just lay me down on the ground!
Slash: [ knowing Muckenfuss has a +3 init ] Should I just put in a 4 for Muckenfuss and be done with it?
Patrick: Yes.

Matt: 29 Nature on those guys.
Slash: His name’s Bob….
Matt: His name’s Larry, that’s his brother Darryl, that’s his other brother Darryl….

Slash: “Nobody said there’d be ghost panthers.”
Josh: “Nobody, or somebody specific whose name you should tell us before we kill you? Who’s your boss?”
Slash: “To the hells with you!”
Josh: “You’ll get there first!”

Patrick: The battlefield gets real quiet. Broknar says, “He’s going to do something awesome!”
Josh: “Just watch him!”
Matt: Muckenfuss holds his turn.

Slash: This is Dawn’s Blazing Fingers, is it?
Josh: I got yer fingers right here!

Slash: “Gyaaaaaaah!” They all run off.
Matt: The compressor routine’s going to have to work real hard on that one.

Slash: If 2d10+6 doesn’t take him down, I’ll be very surprised.
Matt: [ rolls ] 4…plus 6 is 10.
Slash: I’m very surprised.

Patrick: I’m going to knock him out. I’ll do Avenging Light. It’s a crit. 24 radiant non-lethal damage. “Get on the ground!”
Slash: He’s at -20 HP, but still breathing.

Sara: Meanwhile, Arquera and Qatana return the stolen loot to the shops.
Josh: What?!?

Slash: “I don’t know! I just do the hit I’m assigned and drop the goods off somewhere.”
Josh: “Where do you drop the goods? Who gives you the assignment? What’s your mother’s maiden name?”

[ after a line of interrogation leads nowhere ]
Matt: “Qatana.”
Josh: You know it’s bad when Dolg lets you stab him.

[ Muckenfuss has cast Hand of Fate and is trying to think of questions to ask ]
Patrick: “How do….” No, I don’t know if I want to go that way either.
Matt: “I can see you’ve thought this through.”
Patrick: “I got to Hand of Fate and stopped.”
Slash: I can cast Hand of Fate for free once a day! Cast! Uhh…uhh….
Josh: High five!

Patrick: “What’s the path of greatest treasure in this area?”
Matt: Points to…
Patrick: Qatana!

Slash: The merchants present you with three intricate paintings….
Josh: “These will look great on my boat!”
Patrick: “In the sea air? They’ll do wonderfully.”
Josh: “Shut up Muckenfuss!”

Encounter 3: Ringleader Revealed

Slash: “I’ll need you to sign something says you were here.”
Matt: “The bar top?”

Josh: I think it only costs money to get back [across the Five Arch Bridge].
Sara: Like Jersey?

Patrick: “I have been told that they are worth 150 gold pieces each.”
Slash: “Hmm….” They’re actually worth 100, right?
Robyn: 200.
Patrick: I thought it was 100.
Slash: “I will certainly pay you 150 each.”

Josh: Okay, I’ll hit him for the damage but I can’t mark him, so if he comes after you….
Slash: It was your brilliant idea.
Matt: An extra d10 of damage! That’s like, 1 point of damage!

Patrick: The merchant clothes disappear for an instant….
Josh: “Aaaaa! Why can’t I still be in the trees?!?”

Matt: You can spend a healing surge.
Patrick: Just one? ‘Cause I’m good for spending four right now.

Patrick: So what attacked me?
Slash: The tiefling…most likely. You’d presume.
Matt: The DM’s playing it real smooth.

[ barely damaged, Broknar the warden plays healer for a round ]
Josh: This is called “Make Muckenfuss Feel Better”. I’m going to, first of all, Second Wind!
Patrick: Because you’re so damaged!
Josh: Everybody within 5 squares get 12 temporary hit points, Muckenfuss can spend a healing surge and make a saving throw.

Patrick: “I’m getting my pearls back.”
Josh: “If not, we’ll take his pearls, if you know what I’m saying.”

Patrick: “I think I want my pearls back.”
Josh: And I’m keeping your money.
Patrick: That’s kind of what I mean.

Slash: As it turns out, when you return to the Nentir Inn, Erandil steps out wearing a traveling cloak and carrying a bag.
Patrick: “Whatcha doin’?”

Josh: “You don’t like Fagan any more, right?”
Robyn: “I quit that job.”
Josh: “So you don’t have a problem stabbing him in the face?”
Robyn: “I’d rather stab him in the back. Rogues do it from behind.”

Slash: “You weren’t supposed to make it! None of the others have been able to fight off the attacks!”
Josh: “Especially single-handedly, right Muckenfuss?”

Robyn: “We should try to return it to the rightful owners.”
Matt: “Aren’t you a rogue?”

Slash: The Lord Warden is quite impressed by what you’ve managed to accomplish in just a day.
Sara: Half a day!
Slash: Yeah, you arrived shortly after lunch.

Encounter 4: Fagan’s Protection Squad

Patrick: “Markelfuss’s wife is helping Fagan make warforged because she’s cheating on her husband with him.”
Josh: “Muckenfuss has wild theories about what’s going on.”
Patrick: “I’ve seen it all in my thousand lifetimes.”

Patrick: “I hate ninjas.”
Josh: “Who said anything about ninjas?” I just shake my head when Muckenfuss talks, basically.

Slash: It’s a bunch of thug halflings.
Josh: Thuglings! I ain’t afraid of no thuglings.

Robyn: [ attacking undamaged enemy ] 21 [damage].
Slash: And he’s dead.
Sara: Do they even know he’s dead?
Slash: They have no idea what’s going on.

Patrick: This is 2d6…10+7, 17.
Slash: Wait, 2d6…it’s not +7, it’s +6, +1 for each enemy attacked, so it’s +11. 21.
Josh: You’re going to kill them all. They’ll probably make you reroll, though.
Patrick: 17.
Slash: He’ll make you re-roll it.
Patrick: Higher. 23.
Slash: He’s dead.
Patrick: 21.
Slash: He’ll make you re-roll it.
Patrick: Higher! 24.
Slash: He’s dead.
Patrick: 23.
Slash: He’ll make you re-roll it.
Patrick: Same thing!
Slash: He’s dead.
Patrick: 21.
Slash: He’ll make you re-roll it.
Patrick: Probably going to miss. 17?
Slash: Nope, he got it!
Patrick: Now, Visions of Blood….
[ several hits despite a couple rerolls later…. ]
Patrick: And I rest.

[ as Dolgthrasir’s turn starts ]
Robyn: Twin Panthers! Are you close enough for that?
Matt: Not yet. Twin Panthers or Spirit Hunt?
Sara: “Look, we found some enemies your size!”
Matt: Twin Panthers is…I’ll do Spirit Hunt.
Robyn: And Twin Panthers is from you, so….
Matt: I know very well it’s from me, you tell me every frakking session.

Encounter 5: Hunters and Cavaliers

Slash: You find some magical footwear. The nifty thing about the Greaves of Fortunate Falling is that when you fall prone, you can fall into an adjacent space instead of your current space.
Sara: “Broknar, you’ve been prone the most, I think.”
Josh: [ sarcastically ] “Thanks.”
Patrick: “You’ve been on your back more than the rest of us.”

Sara: “Do you want my longsword, short sword, dagger, what?”
Slash: Arquera opens one side of her cloak and eight different blades hang there.
Sara: Watches?
Josh: Wrong side.

Patrick: “We should probably split.”
Slash: Muckenfuss goes that way, everybody else goes that way.

Slash: The table, when you knock it aside, collapses like IKEA furniture.
Patrick: I’m very familiar with that.
Josh: From one of your previous lifetimes, when you were Swedish.

Slash: The cavaliers are going to attack Broknar.
Josh: Both of them?
Slash: Both of them. You interrupted their fighting.
Josh: They can still fight each other. I never said they had to stop.

Matt: [ rolls a 1 ] Birthday crit!
Patrick: Turn that 1 into a 20.
Matt: Let’s do the math here.
Slash: I’ve got 35, plus a d8 from your totem.
Matt: [ rolls a 6 ]
Slash: So 41 damage. Best use of a birthday crit ever. He’s bloodied.
Matt: He darn well better be!

[ Josh and Patrick both totally miss with multi-target encounter powers ]
Patrick: I go home.
Josh: Broknar and Muckenfuss link arms and skip out of the manor.

Patrick: Because I hate these guys so much, I tear open my robe and show them my Superman symbol.
Matt: Is that what you call it?

[ Two enemies attempt something that gets both hit, and one of them killed. ]
Slash: They seem to realize that was a bad idea.
Matt: One of them thinks that more than the other.

Robyn: I take the poison bolts.
Patrick: She likes those. She licks one.
Matt: …I heal her.

Encounter 6: Cards and Warforged

Josh: “Arquera, open the door!” I can’t say that with a straight face.

Josh: Let’s go.
[ as Slash collects a large number of tokens ]
Josh: Wait, I changed my mind.

Sara: “Robots!”
Josh: “What the hell are robots?”
Sara: “I don’t know, but I heard Muckenfuss use the term.”
Patrick: “I was watching Star Trek episodes.”
Josh: “What the hell is Star Trek? Dammit Muckenfuss, what the hell are you talking about?”
Patrick: “There were reruns on DirecTV.”
Sara: “Did he say he has VD?”
Josh: “There’s a ritual for that.”

Robyn: What do I have to roll to stealthily close the door?
Slash: Stealth!
Josh: You have to roll Heal.
Slash: Religion.

Patrick: Muckenfuss pushes Qatana through the door. “Think of the XP!”

Patrick: I pattern my armor after a cavalier.
Josh: And put on his helmet!

Patrick: I switch my armor back.
Matt: It’s you!
Josh: He’s still got the helmet on.
Patrick: If I miss, it’s the helmet’s fault.
Josh: You flip up the visor.
Slash: He flips up the visor and has on the Mask of the Eye Leech underneath.
Matt: A deva? Muckenfuss the deva?!?

Matt: [ confident ] Oh, it hit! [ tentative ] 17 vs. Reflex?

Josh: I move here and ready…
Matt: Kill Them All.
Josh: Yeah. Death by Broknar.

Matt: Check? You can do that off your turn. [ rolls ] Somebody else can do that off their turn.

Slash: He’s going to charge Loni.
Sara: I’m going to do a Disruptive Strike.
Slash: Miss.
Sara: Oh, never mind.

[ discussing targetting Broknar with one of Muckenfuss’s powers ]
Patrick: It’s 1d6….
Josh: It’s only a d6. Broknar goes to the bathroom and does more than a d6.

Slash: If you delay, the combat advantage will last longer.
Matt: Anybody need anything before I do something rash, like nothing?

[ as Arquera is still in the previous room ]
Matt: You guys should see how good I look in this cavalier armor!
Josh: She’s pretending to be a warforged.

Josh: Is he radiant vulnerable? Is he a dark robot? Is he a Decepticon??

Slash: You have a magic rod.
Patrick: Indeed I do.
Slash: I think it’s a staff, actually.
Matt: It’s a staff sometimes.

Encounter 7: Arcane Library

Patrick: I’ll shift sideways and save against blindness?
Slash: You can’t save against it. It’s until the end of his next turn.
Patrick: I will defile his corpse.

Slash: One of the books in the stack starts emitting an unearthly wailing.
Patrick: This is like out of Harry Potter.
Sara: Quick, rub its spine!

Matt: I hate this encounter!
Josh: That’s the way the adventure was written. Can’t blame the DM.
[ Note: Slash wrote the adventure from scratch. ]

[ Josh has a magic item which gives 2 extra damage on an attack. He has just reduced an enemy to 2 HP. ]
Slash: You already used your gloves, right?
Josh: Yeah. I use my other glove!

Josh: [ after missing with an attack ] Crap. I use my Memory of a Thousand Lifetimes?

Slash: The power says I can’t teleport you anywhere unsafe.
Matt: Adjacent to the demon doesn’t count as unsafe?
Josh: That seems fishy to me.

Josh: [ in a pocket dimension ] I see the DM! I know what Muckenfuss means!

Robyn: She has 1000 arrows….
Sara: No, 173. I should be able to count them as a layer of armor. My wicker armor!

Encounter 8: Fey Guards

[ reversing roles for a moment ]
Josh: We don’t have a pistol.
Patrick: What’s a pistol?
Josh: Shut up, Broknar!

Josh: Is it locked?
Slash: It doesn’t appear to have a locking mechanism.
Josh: [ rolls ] Does it appear to bust open with an 8? A 9?
Patrick: “Broknar, try the handle.”
Matt: Do we have a surprise round?
Josh: Broknar’s surprised!

Slash: These guys initially looked more human, but now shift to a wolf-like appearance.
Sara: Team Jacob!

Josh: [Robyn] still has combat advantage against everyone else, except for [Gnome] Wolverine.

Josh: That’s 10 damage.
Slash: Are you going to roll anything else all night?
Josh: Hey, it’s better than average.
Slash: Okay, he’ll attack Loni. [ rolls ] That hits for [ rolls ] 10 damage. What the hell?
[ laughter ]
Slash: Okay, all attacks for the rest of the night deal 10 damage.
Patrick: D&D Essentials.

Patrick: Would you like to reroll?
Matt: It’s a good attack.
Patrick: What is it, 3d10? [ dramatically ] I Demand Justice!
Slash: That only works on saving throws, doesn’t it?
Matt: Well, this throw needs saved!
Patrick: [ dramatically ] I demand nothing!

[ Patrick is rolling an AoE attack against multiple targets ]
Slash: Werewolf 1.
Patrick: Critical miss.
Slash: Werewolf 2.
Patrick: Critical miss.
Slash: Seriously?
Patrick: Yes.
Matt: That’s three in a row, isn’t it?
Slash: Holy crap. 1 in 800 chance.
Patrick: Muckenfuss wins!
Slash: Winning!

[ Slash displays on a second monitor a general idea of the enemies’ current HP after a few rounds of combat. Slash has just turned it on and one of the monsters is clearly almost dead. ]
Josh: Ooo, touch him!
Patrick: He’s touch-worthy. [ dramatically ] I demand touching!

Slash: Ooo, that’s bad. It’s a natural 19, and with the Eladrin Fey Knight in the encounter, that’s a crit. So it’ll be [ rolls ] 19 damage….
Josh: Didn’t you say it was a crit?
Slash: Oh, yeah.
Patrick: What are you doing?!?
Josh: I mean, uh…. Same team!
Slash: It’s actually 29 damage.

Slash: Okay, gnome boy….
Josh: That’s your guy.
Slash: I know.
Josh: Oh, it didn’t seem like it.
Slash: Is somebody going to run the gnome?!?

Slash: We’ve got magic happening.
Josh: I can feel the synergy.
Patrick: It’s like Disney!

Slash: Oh, crit [against Muckenfuss].
Matt: And now he has Moon Frenzy.
Robyn: He’s had every other disease.

Patrick: 27 Fortitude.
Slash: Nope—I mean, 27 Fortitude, yes.
Josh: What?!?
Slash: I thought he meant 17 at first for some reason.

Slash: Muckenfuss the Mysterious.
Sara: How can he still be mysterious as often as he opens his robe?
Josh: The backside’s mysterious. As far as we know he’s the same on both sides.
Robyn: I shudder to think.
Patrick: To the delight of all womenfolk.
Slash: Specifically, pairs of womenfolk at a time.
Patrick: Specifically, twins. And he winks.

Patrick: We win! Moon Frenzy all around!

Treasury and Armory

Josh: I take 10, because I rolled a 10.

Slash: The normally dim light from the braziers in this room is augmented by the glittery pile of gold in the center of it.
Josh: I dive in, like Scrooge McDuck.

Josh: We recite the thingy to turn them off. “Humina humina humina, off!”

Slash: Among the gold, you see hide armor…
Josh: D’oh.
Slash: A cloak, a staff…
Patrick: [ gasps ]

Patrick: I back up to the door, but I do not leave the room. And I lick the staff.
Slash: No reaction [from the warforged].
Josh: I react!
Matt: Oh, it got a reaction.
Slash: Now wait, when you say you lick your staff….
Matt: How flexible are you?
Robyn: Front or back?

Josh: Do I need to roll a bluff check? I look like Fagan too!
Slash: Fagan’s totally 8 feet tall.

Slash: The cloak was intended for the dwarf.
Matt: Sucks I just bought one. What’s the return policy on this cloak?

Matt: Loni’s trained in buff, not bluff.

Encounter 9: Balcony

Josh: [ rolling attack ] How’s a 19 work for you?
Slash: No.
Josh: …plus whatever.
Slash: Oh, it’s a natural 19? Sorry, the half-elf can only be hit with a crit.
Josh: Guys, we are screwed!

Slash: As you guys run for the balcony to observe, they’re scrambling to climb up two by two on the horses, cutting the ropes, and hauling ass away from the manor.
Josh: I call for the guards. “Arrest them!”
Slash: Moments later, you see two portly guards run after them.
Josh: “You guys still suck!”

Patrick: She gave her surges to me. Do you really want to touch her?

Encounter 10: Fagan’s Demise

Slash: You hear a voice say, “Let them come; I’m not concerned.”
Josh: Oh, it’s on now. Broknar kicks the door.

Patrick: Should I go in as Fagan? Really try to freak them out?
Matt: Even better, if you beat his check you can really confuse him.
Slash: [ pretending to roll ] “You are Fagan. Then who am I? I’m so confused!”
Robyn: Whoever he’s with might question….
Slash: “I’m Spartacus!” “No, I’m Spartacus!”

Josh: I’m kicking the door! [ rolls ] Oh, it was so a twenty. The door bulges again.
Slash: Thump!
Josh: “Ow!” Broknar sheepishly opens the door.
Patrick: “Room service!”
Broknar: “Who ordered an ass-whuppin’?”

Robyn: “I met my sister. We’ve been traveling around with this band of adventurers. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Dragon Slayers of Nenlast?”
Patrick: “Specifically, Muckenfuss?”

Slash: “You’ve been causing me a lot of trouble lately.”
Robyn: “You’ve been causing this town a lot of trouble.”
Slash: “This town does not concern me. It is a stepping stone on my way to power.”
Matt: [ making Jedi Mind Trick gesture ] “This town does not concern me.”

Slash: “I’m sure we can clear up this misunderstanding.”
Robyn: “We saw that pile of gold in the other room. I’m sure we can clear up this misunderstanding.”
Josh: [ pointedly ] “Qatana….”

Josh: It’s just a rug. I’m sure I won’t fall to my doom.

Matt: Does Fagan say, “Sister…. You have a sister…”?

Slash: “How did you find your sister?”
Robyn: “We actually met by chance, a flip of a coin.”
Patrick: [ coughs ]
Robyn: “Though we’re starting to think that the creepy blue guy in the corner had something to do with it.”
Patrick: Don’t look his way if he opens his robe!

Slash: “[The warforged] are just reanimated shells; they don’t have any sentience.”
Josh: “They’re a blasphemy to nature.”
Patrick: “You’re not helping.”
Slash: He narrows his eyes at you.
Josh: After he looks way up.

Slash: “I needed a base of operations from which I could expand, and Fallcrest seemed as good a place as any.”
Patrick: “Are you taking applications?”
Josh: [ pointedly ] “Muckenfuss….”
Slash: “What would you have to offer?”
Matt: “Oh, don’t ask him that!”
Patrick: “On both sides.”

Slash: “What say you, Qatana? Will you join me?”
Josh: Come to the Dark Side! We have cookies!

[ We started using a second monitor to automatically display initiative information. Slash has loaded everything into the program for this encounter, but some enemies haven’t been revealed yet. ]
Josh: What? What tigers? What are you talking about, screen?
Slash: [ whistles innocently, removes Tigers from combat ] What tigers?
Josh: “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Josh: [ jumping to avoid a trap ] Do I get to decide where I jump to?
Slash: Yes.
Josh: I jump to Fagan’s face.

Slash: He reaches into his pocket, pulls out some sand or something, and throws it at your face. [ rolls ] Oh, except 13 Reflex isn’t going to hit, is it?
Josh: No. He throws it at my chest, and I’m like, “What are you trying to do? My face is up here!”

Slash: He also deals extra damage when he has combat advantage, just like Robyn does. Or Qatana does.
Josh: And Robyn.
Matt: You don’t know, man. You don’t know….

Patrick: I lean over to one side of my 5-foot square and go, “Pssst!” Then I lean to the other side….
Josh: [ stage whisper ] “That’s my side!”
Patrick: [ stage whisper ] “I know!”

[ Joan has used a fire attack against an enemy standing on a bed. ]
Slash: And yes, you have lit his bed on fire.
Joan: That happens all the time.

Slash: Fagan’s not in a talking mood. He can’t see, and he’s on fire. Even super-villains don’t monologue while they’re on fire.

Slash: You don’t have enough combat advantage that 16 vs. Reflex will hit. Ask Qatana what her Reflex is.
Robyn: 20.
Matt: …so I’m supposed to attack her?
Josh: That’s what I got out of it, too!

Slash: He’s going to shoot a beam of light out of his—
Josh: Ass.

Patrick: I throw a rope down into the pit, but I do not attach the other end.
Slash: The guard watches the rope fall and lay across the spike, then looks up at you incredulously.

Sara: Dive out the window and touch him!
Patrick: If I can get him down to that many hit points, I’ll do that!

Slash: Do you want to monologue at all before you take the shot?
Robyn: No, I’m going to hopefully let the crossbow do the talking for me.
Sara: Rogues do it…quietly.
Slash: Rogues do it with stealth!

Matt: I jump out the window [of escape], run back inside, jump back out the window….
Josh: For the next 15 minutes.
Matt: “Guys, you’ve gotta try this; this is awesome!”

Slash: You find the ritual Make Whole, which basically lets you reconstruct something from a piece or pieces of it.
Patrick: I’m glad you explained that, because I was going to make a rabbit hole.

Encounter 11: Jefelryx

Sara: I can use my Evade Ambush to make one ally not be surprised.
Patrick: Who’s your favorite?

Slash: [The dragon] eyes your party and observes Ventlandra. In a deep female voice she asks, “Are you with them?”
Joan: “Yes.”
Slash: …that was a stupid answer, but all right!

Patrick: 11d7!
Slash: I’d like to see a d7.

Josh: I will stand here and be a target. “Look at me!!”

Slash: She taunts you. “You will make a good appetizer.”
Matt: “I taste like chicken.”
Josh: “Leave my brother alone, dragon skank!” I shake my dragon claw necklace. “This belonged to your son! I pulled it from his warm corpse!”
Patrick: I hide my staff.

Slash: Guess who she’s going after!
Josh: I don’t know why. I lick the claw. Broknar’s just going crazy.

Joan: Sorry guys, I’m bowing out.
Slash: Oh, is Matt going to take over Loni?
Josh: Loni climbs in the dragon’s mouth.
Slash: Quick, Loni, distract the dragon while we escape!
Patrick: We will remember you!

[ _Josh has a utility that allows him to spend his second wind and grant an ally a surge and a saving throw._ ]
Josh: Muckenfuss also gets to spend a surge and roll a save from my second wind.
Slash: [ laughs ] I’m sorry, that’s just funny. He has to roll a save against Broknar’s second wind.

Sara: “Open wide; I’ll send you some toothpicks.” [ She prepares an arrow. ]

Josh: He goes to find the guards.
Patrick: Or the tigers.
Josh: He comes back riding a tiger and wielding the arbalester.

[ after their victory ]
Patrick: I take a nap on the ground.

Slash: A dwarf in priestly garb approaches. “I watched your battle from afar.”
Josh: “Thanks for your help.”

Quotes from The Siege of Fallcrest

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